Things I should have said.

As you probably know, I'm angry. I'm more pissed off about gay rights than usual. Maybe it's just because it's been in the news. Maybe it's because I've been dealing with a lot of stress in my life and this just compounds it with empathy for those teens like Tyler Clementi. Maybe it's because I experienced the same shit they did in high school.

There was an incident in high school where I was forced up against a wall in the photography darkroom after giving a very impassioned pro-gay marriage speech. It was one of two times in my high school career when I had to use physical violence. It's something that's been brought to the forefront of my mind because of the recent suicides due to anti-gay bullying and bullying in general (the latter of which I received a lot more of, but that's another story and it's not something I remain bitter about). It's hard for me to tell people about what happened. But it's something that needs to be said.

It's something that needs to be screamed. It's something that needs to be yelled, shouted, written about, publicised, and most of all, talked about.

I never said anything about what happened to me to anyone in my school's administration. But I should have. I was too afraid for my safety to be out in high school, but I should have made this experience into something that is bigger than me. But what's done is done, and all I can do about it now is talk about it.

So that's what happened to me. It's one incident, but I don't doubt that if I had been out in high school there would have been more. Luckily, I'm a trained martial artist and am confident about my ability to get out of bad situations. I also go to college in a very liberal place with a wonderful LGBT support program. Not everyone has these luxuries. But the one thing that I wish every gay teen could know is that it does get better.

(Don't believe me? Ask the It Gets Better Project .)

I heard about yet another hate crime against the LGBT community today. I doubt these things are happening with greater frequency than before. Now they're simply being paid attention to. As my roommate pointed out, maybe this is a good thing. What we need is awareness. What we need is a voice. What we need is the courage to speak out.

I found out tonight at the IC Wind Ensemble Benefit Concert that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. October is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month. October is also LGBT History Month. October appears to be a month full of awareness. It's a month full of awareness for things that are close to me, being LGBT and the daughter of a breast cancer survivor. So to honour this month of being aware, let's be aware of the abuses that happen every day to LGBT citizens. If you aren't outraged, you're not paying attention.

But more than anger, more than publicity, the things that we can immediately change are our voices. Instead of accepting abuse for who we are, we can speak out. Before anyone can change a social stigma, awareness has to be raised. So use your voice. Speak out. Have no fear.

It gets better.